Adult SMS-2

Teacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
Boy: my penis in your hand.
Teacher slapped and asked what is this?
Boy: oh I forget to put space between pen and is.

Fifa has decided that girls should be goalkeepers for the world cup, because no matter how wide they open, they never lets the balls go in.
What is contraceptive pill? It's the 2nd best things that a woman can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy. Now done ask what the 1st thing is.
Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.
Wife ask husband, how many women he had slept with, husband proudly replies, only you darling with others I was wake.
4 stages of love.
1. Hand in hand.
2. Hand in that.
3. That in hand.
4. That in that.
Now don't ask me what is that.
On first night both man and wife claim virginity.
Wife: if this is your first time then how you fucked so well?
Man: if this is your 1st time then how you know I fucked so well?
Men are raping a woman. The woman laughing nonstop so after sometimes the men get bugged and ask her, why she is laughing, she replies: I have aids.
Wife bought a new transparent bra and wore in front of her husband.
Husband: honey you look very sexy in this bra.
Wife: you know salesman was also saying same thing.
Girl enters a sex shop.
Girl: where is the duplicate penis section?
Clerk: it's their mam.
Girl: how much for this big red one?
Clerk: sorry madam, its fire extinguisher.